I lost my voice long ago
But my screams still reverberate;
A tantrum perpetuated in echo.
In all of my frustration and hate
I have no real target; Under cover,
I blindly fire my thoughts
In this empty room.

If there were pictures on the wall,
The frames would be smashed.
Vases on the mantel would be
In pieces, unable contain itself.
Yet, there is nothing.
This room in my mind is a blank slate
And just a quiet place where I go
To let off some steam.

When parents walk their children up to my desk
And have them practice the formalities of a bureaucracy,
Just so they can gain a sense of their impending adulthood,
These children begin to understand their importance
In relation to the world outside themselves.

It's not so much about please-and-thank-you's,
But instead about what you can and can't do.
They look up at me looking down on them,
Their eyes wide to mine narrow, and my hands
Are making motions they can't quite comprehend,
In relation to a screen they can't see, or if they could,
Understand with their limited experience in this world.
But despite their shortcomings, goddamn, they are eager to learn.

Written on April 27, 2013

Two days ago was my birthday.
I drudged through a marshy April lawn
Picking up my dog's shit and litter
From the previous tenants' child/children.

Toys and feces quickly accumulated
In a small, brown paper sack
I received during my trip to the liquor store
In preparation for the evening's event.

My eyes scanned the lawn for at least an hour;
Lost in repetition I began to take inventory.
Where was I ten years ago? I realize
I'm on the cusp of another major transition.

Almost a quarter-century old,
I'm headed towards a milestone
That acknowledges my adulthood
And scares the hell out of me.

Ten years ago I was getting ready
For my new-found independence.
Entering high school, soon to be
Driving cars and fingering girls.

Instead, the next four years
Remained largely like the last.
There were some girls and cars but,
There was a lot more staying at home
And jerking off to the internet.

Ten years ago I was in a mall
Accompanied by my friend
And my parents. It was there
We dined at a bar and arcade.

Since, I have gained independence,
And with that solitude. I move at most
In a pair with a designated friend or lover.
Now my events take place at a bar.

In the past, it was all video games,
Junk food, and angst. Besides what I got
As presents, I remember playing the claw game
Winning a bear with tickets in his hand.

 This week, it was picking up dog shit
connected to a stick in the mud; just so
When I'm stumbling around drunk in the dark
I've responsibly avoided getting some on my shoe.

On the Mailability of the Young Mind

Immersed in pedagogical theory,
I  have to somehow connect it to practice.
Lost for months in a dialogue
I'm having trouble keeping to the conversation.

These fragile little egos
Which I have to trick into learning,
When I still haven't tricked myself
In any capacity of doing the same.

I have to speak with deliberation
and act with more;
Constrained by other's approval
That's what it is: De-liberation.

Tired, Mangy, & Flea-bitten

I feel like ol' Bill:
Sitting at my desk,
Fingers on the keys,
Ready to nod in my seat.

Far from my bed,
Afraid of what bugs lurk
Underneath in the dark.
They're ready to bite,
Knowing I'll scratch
'Til I'm raw.

Beaten into dormancy after the fifth frost,
I have remained under the frozen earth
Forgotten and forgetting
How to make my voice carry
Over the sound of the late winter winds.
But in this new Spring
My roots awaken
And my body blossoms as
My leaves will stretch for the Sun.
Soon my nectar will be carried off
Letting others know of my sweetness.
Brand new petals are in this season
and they'll get their wear before the Summer's up.

I shook my sleepy head free of any snow

And let my vibrant Springtime color show.

In your warmth from behind a shady cloud

I stretch out in admiration aloud,

With a great yawn and a blossoming smile

I see you among my uniform aisle;

We are all grown in the Earth's green coiffure

Arranged beautifully by Man's nature.

Leaves and petals bend in your direction

Sweet nectar flowing is my confection.

You have me thinking about birds and bees

So I'll keep fighting off mean Jack Frost's freeze.

May you come someday down my earthly way;

Enough to hear a lover's two lips say,

As they pluck away the petals to nubs,

"It is me, and only me, that he loves."